Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: What are you envisioning?

I’ve never been much of a fan of March. In fact, it’s always been my least favourite month of all. Miserable March with is madness and manic weather, in like a lion and often out like one too.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has so much antipathy for this dreaded third month of the year.  It’s hard to find something good to say about such a gloomy month that is a messy mixture of mud, slush, and snow. Repeatedly, week after painful week.

Hurry Up and Wait Month

The weather wasn’t the only reason I disliked March. It was also the month of hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait for that posting message, hurry up and wait for your house to go on the market, hurry up and wait for March break to be over, hurry up and wait for spring to come.

It became a vicious cycle every year (whether we were due to be posted or not). Before January was even half finished, I’d start thinking about how awful March was going to be.  How was I going to keep the kids entertained during March break?  Because there were so many years we couldn’t afford for our family of five to travel, and often the years we could afford it, the military had other plans for the week. When would that posting message show up?  We’ll never sell our house with all of the other houses on the market before ours. How would I ever keep the house clean for showings while it was so messy outside?

No End to Worst Case Scenarios

There was no end to the worst case scenarios I could conjure up. I spent weeks dwelling on them. And the more I dwelled on them, the worse I felt.  But I was far too deep into my ruminating rut to see that.

There’s no doubt about it– postings are stressful, buying and selling houses can be downright challenging, winter in Petawawa does seem never-ending, and March break at home with three kids can be nerve-wracking. But I was making them even more so.

In truth, the madness in my March had absolutely nothing to do with the weather or postings (or basketball, for that matter). It had everything to do with me. March was miserable for no other reason than I had decided it would be.  It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Wasted Time Worrying & Complaining

It wasn’t until after my husband died I realized just how much of my time I had wasted worrying and complaining about things that somehow always seemed to work out in the end. The posting message always came, the house eventually sold, we survived March break (sometimes even with our sanity still intact), and spring, however short, always came.

Loss changes your perspective. And teaches you the true value of time.

I missed out on so many days, not just in March, because I was too busying stressing about life to make the most of it. And I didn’t appreciate just how fortunate I was to have the chaotic life I had until that chaotic life was gone.

Embracing the Chaos

March might not always be easy, but it’s necessary; it’s a passage to get to spring. Just like you need Monday to get to Friday, you need March to get to May.

Last March, my youngest daughter and I went to Belfast for Saint Patrick’s Day. It was freezing cold, colder than home, but that didn’t matter. As we stood watching the waves roll across the North Atlantic Sea, my heart was full. I was so incredibly grateful for March and that precious time with my daughter. Frigid wind and all.