Deployment TipsterWhile They're Away

Deployment Tip #18: Assumptions

Whether you are on your first or fifth reunion/re-integration from a deployment it is important not to assume you know how your returning member will think, feel or act and vice versa. Each deployment is unique. You and your family member will have grown and changed each time, which will make each experience different.

What your family member and yourself have experienced is different, you will be older, your family and friends may have changed since the last tour, you may be living closer/farther apart from people, you each have experienced different stresses or happy moments than last deployment. Don’t assume that either of you know how things will be when you are back together.

Whether you are on your first or fifth reunion/re-integration from a deployment it is important not to assume you know how your returning member will think, feel or act and vice versa.

Suggestions:

  • Take time to ask each other what things you would like to do when you are back together
  • Ask questions rather than guess or assume – the rule should be… “If in doubt, ask.”
  • Talk to each other about things you want to do, need to do and think you should do – try to put each thing in one of those categories.
  • Don’t make plans without consulting each other – do not assume that you will both want to do the same things you did before.
  • Do not make commitments to other people without talking to each other first.
  • Talk about the things you have learned about yourself.

For more information about our tips, resources or books, go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org.

Do you have a deployment tip you would like to share? Submit your tip by emailing it to [email protected].

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Megan Egerton

Megan Egerton Graham is the author and creator of the While You Were Away www.whileyouwereaway.org series of books and programs. She has taught every grade from Kindergarten to grade 12. Her specialists are in Guidance (Deployment) and Special Education (Behaviour). She has been a guidance counselor for several years and now works as a Principal for the Ottawa Carleton District School Board. Megan has taught on military base schools and is a military wife and mother of two. Her husband continues to be an active member of the Canadian forces. She has also written a Deployment Handbook and Reunion Handbook for the Canadian Forces and continues to work with Military Resource and Readiness Centers, social workers, deployment support co-ordinators and school liasions both in Canada and the US. She travels around North America providing support to schools, military bases and personnel working with Military families. She is continuing to write books to strengthen and develop resilency within military families. For more information about her blogs, books and resources go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org To submit a tip write to [email protected].

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